Sunday, July 18, 2010

How to Annoy People: Eight easy steps from an experienced pro!

These are 8 ways to annoy the general public, your classmates, or family written by a very experienced professional in this subject.

Note: These may be rude, not reccomended for goody-two-shoes.

#1: When they ask the time, say every digit and add "precisely" or "approximately" to the start. For example, say it is 6:03, you would say "The correct time is approximately six colan zero three."

#2: "Accidentally" moan/groan/snore loudly in your "sleep" when there is someone else trying to sleep in the same room.

#3: Go up to a random stranger, widen your eyes and yell: SACAGAWEA! (Pronounced "SA-KA-JE-WAY-AAH") and watch their alarmed reaction. (You could also try this in various other situations such as a job interview.)

#4: Ask a person if they would like a chocolate chip cookie. If they say yes, say "TOO BAD!" and start singing Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up".

#5: Rave on and on about how amazing a website or movie was that doesn't exist. And make sure if it is a website, you right down a huge url and when they take it home they type all that for nothing!

#6: From across a table, a classroom or a busy space, get someone's attention, and when they look at you, make signs and strange symbols with your hands and look at them as if you expect them to know exactly what you are trying to tell them. Finally when you see them face to face tell them that you were talking about a rabbit that live is your garage.

#7: Look at them for extremely elongated periods of time. This works suprisingly well!

#8: Use long, technical words in every sentence. This gets really annoying after a while. If you know words like this, use them, and if you don't, make them up, and make them sound scientifical.

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